The quickest path to freedom is...

“If you're not having some polarizing effects, then you're not fully showing up." Danielle LaPorte

Have you ever been so excited about something, just to be deflated by a negative reaction you get from someone else?

If you answered "No" to that question, congratulations - you are my hero! If you said "Yes" - don't worry. I know how you feel.

I've probably said the phrase, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me" a million times. And many times, it was the truth. But not always.

It's hard when someone else (especially someone close to you) puts you down, laughs at your dream, or simply ignores you when you reveal something honest and authentic about yourself.

It happens to us all at some point in our lives - but it's how we react that defines how happy we'll ultimately be.

Do we lash out from our hurt and demand an apology?

Do we cry alone, silently wishing they could've seen it from our perspective?

Do we internalize it and hold back from sharing in the future?

I've gone down all three of those roads in the past and let me tell you, they don't work, because they give all your power away to someone outside of yourself.

Instead, if we take their reaction for what it really is - a reflection of what's going on in their lives, not ours - it's easier to let it go and move on to the next awesome thing we're creating.


Case in point: Last week I received my advance copy of "Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It", an anthology of stories written by people who were inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert's best-selling novel. Having my essay included is one of the biggest honors of my life.

My essay included some facts that I don't share with too many people, so I had some anxiety about it being read by millions of people.

However, once I went within and really listened to my heart, I knew I had to do it. I knew it was an opportunity to inspire others to the understanding that no matter how bleak life might be at any given moment, there is light on the other side. 

The vast majority of the feedback I've received so far has been incredible: people on Twitter saying how much my story touched them, the most beautiful note from the editor saying how powerful my words were, a local bookstore scheduling an event and book signing.

But there have been a few who weren't happy with my sharing. I admit, their disapproval was hard to swallow at first. But when I let go of what they thought of me and my actions, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I felt free.

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What I realized is that none of us are here to please everyone....and it's literally impossible to do so, anyway. The best we can do is be as authentic and loving as possible, and then focus our energy on the people who show up to support and love us. CLICK TO TWEET

How do you deal with negative criticism when you're playing big in the world? I'd love to hear your tips on the Shift Bars Facebook page.  Please share!

Free at last,