The Blame Game
“Mental toughness is the ability to remain positive and proactive in the most adverse of circumstances.” Jim Afremow
I love games. But you know one game that no one wins? The Blame Game. I know that in my own experience, when I blame someone for something “bad” happening, I’m usually deflecting some negative judgment I have against myself onto them. Because let’s face it, it feels a whole lot better to blame someone else than it does to blame myself. Allow me to explain...my teacher, Abraham-Hicks, created an Emotional Scale, which ranks emotions from the lowest vibration to the highest. The scale looks like this:
As you can see, the emotions that feel the worst are the ones where we're beating up on ourselves - think powerlessness, guilt, unworthiness. As we move up the scale, we tend to take our negative energy out on those around us in feelings like jealousy, anger, and blame. You have to admit: there's a sense of relief when you move from hating yourself to hating someone else. But the whole point is that, even though directing those emotions outside of yourself is a step up the scale, you can't afford to get stuck in blame, because any of the so-called “bad” emotions don’t feel good. And because they don’t feel good, they’re your indication that you're not aligned with your true creative power. On the other hand, when you’re feeling one of higher-vibrational emotions (like hopefulness, optimism, enthusiasm, appreciation, and love), you're fully in your power to effect positive change in the world. That's when manifestations start rolling in, great ideas occur, and we meet people serendipitously that can help us.
If you're currently in one of the lower-vibe emotions - no worries. It happens to all of us, we're human. I’m not asking you to jump to the top of the scale all at once - that’s too big a leap. But if you start consciously moving up the emotional scale, you'll feel the relief that comes with that movement. How do you move up the scale? First ask yourself, “Am I deflecting my own shame or guilt onto this person/group?” Second, if you do discover that there’s some guilt underlying your blame, forgive yourself. There’s no faster way to drain yourself of your power than to judge yourself harshly, so let that sh!$ go. Lastly, put your focus on things that feel good. If you want a great guide in that process, I highly recommend the book Ask and It Is Given. Or you can ask yourself, “What times in my life did things look hopeless and they actually ended up working out great?” I’ll bet you find a lot of examples.
Because things are always working out for you. If they don’t look like it at the moment, it’s just because they haven’t fully unfolded yet. And the fastest way to help them unfold is to move up that scale and allow the answers to your questions in.
It’s easy to love those who agree with you. Do you think Ghandi naturally loved the British soldiers killing his people? Do you think it came easy to Nelson Mandela to forgive his captors? Do you think Jesus was all about the people nailing him to a cross? Of course not. But they did it. They worked on building up the love in themselves until they had so much it could overflow to everyone outside themselves, even their enemies. And in doing so, they tapped into their true power and created miracles that helped millions of people. It’s time for all of us to step up to that level. The fate of our planet and our species depends on it. Will it be easy? No. But it's the only way. Blaming someone and making them wrong will never cause them to suddenly adopt your way of thinking. But showing them compassion, forgiving them in your heart, and trying to connect with them will diffuse the tension enough that maybe, just maybe, a connection can be made. And the more connected one feels, the less room fear has to grow. CLICK TO TWEET
So yes, feel what you need to feel. But please, choose to move out of blame as fast as you can. Now is the time for love, more than ever. And be sure to come over to the Shift Bars Facebook page and share some love of your own...
Movin' on up,