How will I ever get through this?

I am not going to lie to you, this is a crazy time for me. Did you see or read about last week's eclipse? To recap, on March 20th, there was a supermoon, total solar eclipse and the spring Equinox - all on the same day. That hadn't happened since 1622! Now, I'm not an astrologer, but I do believe we are connected to the planets and stars in some powerful ways. And the more I learn about all types of astrology, the more I think they can be a useful indicator of the gifts we bring into this life (though what we do with them is up to us). So I definitely took notice of what trained astrologers were saying about this eclipse Trifecta. According to one I love, Virginia Rosenberg of Heavenly Bodies Healing, this eclipse was especially important. It fell on the very last degree of Pisces, illustrating that humanity is poised on the brink of major endings and major beginnings. And it came at the perfect time, as this week marks a huge ending/beginning for me. My boyfriend, Lucas, is moving to Maine at the end of the month for a career opportunity he has been dreaming about for years. We have known about this move for over 6 months, so we have been processing it for awhile. But since this is his last week here, sh!t's starting to get real. I totally admit that I have been living in denial that this was really happening, but it's hard to stay there when boxes are being packed! This whole experience is teaching me so much about change and how I deal with it best. Maybe what I have learned can help you in some way: 1) Feel feelings fully - I used to bottle up any "negative" feelings (i.e., anger, pain, shame). But by doing so, I was also putting a limit on the "positive" emotions I could feel (like joy, love and bliss). For me, taking acting classes opened me up to the full spectrum of emotions and also taught me how to access them quickly and fully. Now, if something painful comes up, I cry, scream or punch pillows to get the energy up and out of me so it doesn't get stuck inside. At first, I felt like a child for doing this, but when I saw how emotionally resilient kids are, I realized that wasn't such a bad thing! 2) Match the feeling to the thought - The great thing about feeling things fully is that emotions pass a lot quicker than when we resist them. Once an emotional "storm" has passed, I feel lighter and ready to take whatever my next step is. For me, that has been retracing my thoughts to see which ones triggered the negative feelings. You see, emotions come from thoughts. It is not an incident that causes us emotional pain; it's our thoughts about that incident. For example, when Lucas first told me about this opportunity, I cried (a lot). But then I realized I was crying because my thoughts had gone down the "I am losing my him, I will never love again" road. Once I recognized that, I moved onto the next step... 3) Pick a new thought - We are conditioned by society that certain events should produce certain feelings. A death in the family should create sadness. A break-up should cause hurt or anger. Losing a job should bring fear. But what if that's not the case? In his book, "Happiness is a Choice," Barry Neil Kaufman explained, "Events are events. Each of us chooses our response by how we decide to view them and by what beliefs and judgments we engage during the process." When we realize we are in control of our beliefs about what happens to us, we can literally change how we react to similar situations in the future. Over the last 6 months, Lucas and I have worked together to shift our feelings of loss and sadness around our separation to ones of excitement for ourselves and each other. We now believe that things are always working out for us, so either we will get back together once our businesses are up and running, or we will meet people who are better matches for us romantically and be happy for each other. 4) Keep choosing the new thought - Let's face it, changing beliefs is not usually a one-and-done thing (wouldn't that be nice?!?!) It's hard work shifting our beliefs, but it is so worth it. And it gets easier. Believe me, there have been many times in the last 6 months that I started down the "Woe Is Me" path. But every time it happened, I was able to shift to my new thoughts about it faster and faster. It's like any kind of exercise - you will be wobbly at first, but with practice you get better. It just takes the decision, commitment and discipline to keep at it. Then there comes a tipping point when the new thought takes over and the old thought becomes a rare occurrence. 5) Take care of you - In times of big change, we need to be extra-diligent about self-care. For me, that meant cutting way back on my normal activities for Lucas' last week here so we could spend some real quality time together. We have hikes planned, a trip to Hot Springs and visits with friends to say goodbye. And believe me, I didn't plan any important meetings on the day he is scheduled to leave! Feeling emotions full-out and shifting beliefs takes some serious energy. So do what you need to do to take care of yourself until you feel your feet under you again. Be out in nature, take hot baths, cut back on the social schedule - be gentle with yourself. The whole process will go so much quicker if you give yourself space to integrate that change. How do you move through change? I am asking for selfish reasons this week! Please share on our Facebook page and be sure to follow us on Instagram. As always, your opinions mean the world to me. Change well, Emily